Do something together

Here is a list of ideas found when looking for something new to do together.
You could sit on the couch and watch TV together....OR....

Bike ride 
Cook together – each taking turns with parts of the recipe
Go to the gym together 
Play croquet 
Match socks together – believe it or not, this can be nice to just sit and chat while doing this mindless chore
Plant a garden 
Go see a play at a local theatre
Paint a room in your house that you’ve been meaning to re-do
Shopping for something new for you and for him
Scrabble
Long walk around the block – even with the kids
Picnic on the beach
When the kids are in bed, challenge each other on the Wii
A game of tennis
Put together a puzzle
Read a book together 
Put together photo albums of your family
Sit outside and watch the sunset
Cooking class together
Yoga
Day trip to a special location nearby
Find a band you both like and see if they’re playing anytime soon or nearby
Dancing lessons
Baseball game together – Major or Minor league
Bowling
House hunting
Head to the zoo (you don’t always have to be with the kids!)
Fishing 
Canoe ride
Roller blading 
Create a vegetable garden 
Couple massages
Run a 5K, 10K, 1/2 marathon, marathon together
Volunteer together somewhere special
Mini golfing
Real golfing
Play basketball together  (game of one on one)
Head to the beach and collect sea glass or shells
Monopoly
Recreate your very first date
Dance in the kitchen when the kids are in bed
Head to a flea market
Sit by the fire
Go camping 
Learn to play an instrument together
Play frisbee
Redo your bedroom together – new sheets, new arrangement of furniture, hang photos, etc
When it’s raining, run outside and kiss in the rain!
Free movies in the park
Walk around the mall hand in hand
Have a fondue night
Kayaking
Make chocolate chip cookies from scratch together
Head to the batting cages
Go-cart racing!
Head out on a boat ride
Head to a car dealer and test drive cars you’ve been dying to check out 
Strawberry/Blueberry/Apple picking – depending on the season
Sit and watch your wedding video together, or flip through your wedding photos
Make a family tree
Spend the night at a local B&B
Go hiking
Head to a local museum
Fitness class together
Make your own sundaes
Go ice skating
Find a place where you can do a dinner boat or a dinner train!
Make your own sushi
Lay in your backyard and look up at the stars
Go horseback riding
Find a local art exhibit
Swim in the ocean
If you have a hot tub, jump in!
Head to an amusement park
Go zip-lining!
Create something for your kids and surprise them – blanket fort, pillow fortress, LEGO cave, etc!
Make a cake
Dress up all fancy (for the fun of it) and head out to dinner
Create a vision board of goals and dreams you both have for your lives ahead
Clean out and organize the garage, your basement or your attic
Go to church together
Make breakfast and eat it in bed
Plant a tree
Create a special space outdoors for the summer
Go to a planetarium
Take a bubble bath together
Create a scavanger hunt for each other of clues that only the 2 of you would know and understand
Visit a local animal shelter if you’re looking to adopt a new pet
Take a karate class
Whitewater rafting
Make breakfast together in the morning


Or try this...a little something each day for a week!
Show him love seven days a week

Three types of parents...which are you?

In the book, Kids are Worth it, there are three types of parents. Which one are you?

BRICK WALL

A brick wall is a nonliving thing, designed to resturic, to keep in and to keep out. Family structure is rigid and is used for control and power, both of which are in the hands of the parents. Kids are controlled, manipulated and made to mind. Parents direct, supervise, mini lecture, order, threaten, remind and worry over.

Examples: You will sit here all night if it takes you that long to finish your spinach. All the toys need to be put back exactly as you found them. I told you if you said that word again, I would wash your mouth out with soap. Eat those peas with your fork. You are such a crybaby. Touch that and you will be in your room for the rest of the day. Let’s see who can make the best cookies. If you wet your pants, you will go back to wearing diapers, just like a baby. Boys don’t cry. Put your coat on it is cold outside. You look better in the red one.

JELLYFISH

A jellyfish has no firm parts at all and reacts to every wave the comes along. Family structure is nonexistent, the need for it may not even be acknowledged or understood. Extremely lax in discipline, sets few limits, and tends to smother children. Anything the kids want, they get. Chaos surrounds bedtime, mealtime, chores, etc. Then the parents (in frustration and panic) tent to revert to threats, bribes and punishments.

Examples: Hold on, let me find a pencil in all this mess. The kids eat whatever they feel like. If they get fat, they get fat it is not my fault. You are such a sweet girl, I am going to buy you that pretty dress you say yesterday. You are such a klutz, I will set the table myself, I will pay this time, but next time you dent the car you will have to pay for it yourself. If you give me a hug, I will give you a cookie. I can’t make all the other kids be quiet while you study, what do you think this is, a library? He made me angry, so I hit him. I would love you more if you would cut your hair. If we don’t make a big deal of it, I am sure it will go away on it’s own. The teachers just don’t understand, I ditched school when I was young, it won’t hurt her to miss a few classes.

BACKBONE

A backbone is a living, supple spine that gives form and movement to the whole body. Family structure is present and firm and flexible and functional.

Examples: When you walk in puddles, your sneakers will get wet. The car starts when everyones seat belt if buckled. You will need to replace your friends jacket that you borrowed and lost. You can do it, I know you can. It is okay to cry, son..I am sad too that we will not be neighbours with their family anymore…let’s think of something we can do that will make the move a little easier for him. Let’s figure out where we can bike this weekend…I will check the bikes this time, who wants to fill the water bottle and make a snack. I am here if you need me. When you have  a gut feeling about something, trust your intuition. You will figure out a way to solve that problem, I know you can do it. I hear what you are saying. I hadn’t thought of it that way. Your red shoes are still wet, you can pick out another pair to wear to school. 

Jenny is a Brick Wall

Scott is a Backbone

Jenny is constantly battling for control, and Scott is gently reminding her to cool it.

Happy Anniversary

Here's Jenny

And here's Scott

 August 31, 2000

12 Years Together...still having fun...still loving each other very much. 

Happy Anniversary!

We don't take many pictures together.
Here is the most recent from our Half Marathon together.

Fathers Day

Happy Fathers Day

To an awesome Dad who loves us so much!

I went on Pintrest to find some ideas, and loved these Cubicle Snacks...

The boys each picked a picture of themselves with Dad, chose one of Dad's favorite treats, and helped to cut and tape everything together.

Simple, fun, and he will enjoy these every day at work!

Zach is Sweet: Riesen Chocolate Candies

Tyler is Sour: Sour Winegums and Bears

Luke is Salty: Salted Almonds

You are speaking my language

I saw Scott reading a book last week. I looked at the front and thought it was a romantic novel. It was purple with a couple walking along a beach.

Jenny says, "What are you reading?"
Scott says, "The 5 Love Languages. You should read it too, and we can take the test together"
Jenny says, "I read that book back in University before we were married."
Scott says, "You may be surprised by the results"
Jenny says, "I bet I can guess your love language. Hee Hee"

So, we both read the book, and took the test last night online. There is one in the book, but we wanted to have an electronic copy of the results to refer back to.
My main language scored a 12, which is the highest score one language can receive. It must be really important to me. Scott actually tied between two languages (both of which were not the one I thought it was!), which makes it easier for me to love him. I can choose one of the two and know he will feel loved by me. The neat thing is we figured out that we can both speak the same language to each other, and it will be neat to see how things turn out.

It is worth the read, and the suggestions at the end of each chapter help you to know how to talk the language of the person you want to love.

Quote from Author: " I dream of a day when the potential of the married couple can be unleashed for the food of humankind, when husbands and wives can live life with full emotional love tanks and reach out to accomplish their potential as individuals and as couples. I dream of a day when children can grow up in homes filled with love and security, where children's developing energies can be channeled to learning and serving rather than seeking the love they did not receive at home. It is my desire that this brief volume will kindle the flame of love in your marriage and in the marriages of thousands of other couples like you."

You can take the test today and find out for yourself.

Team Work..The Clogged Kitchen Sink

We moved into our home over a year ago, and have had the pleasure of unplugging the sink three times. Today was number three. We have learned a little about teamwork through this trial, as well as how many peelings..and how much water to put down the garburator/insinkerator/food disposal..whatever you want to call it.
After buying a very big wrench and a plumbing snake (as well as a little help from google), the first two times were easy..we put everything back together and were so proud of ourselves. This time, it took a bit longer, but still with both of us under the sink we were able to unplug it.

It can be hard to work together, especially when someone gets blamed, or someone gets defensive, or someone thinks their way is the best, and the other person does not agree. This type of scenario happens all the time. I am reminded time and time again that the word TEAM does not have an I in it. In order to solve some problems, you have to let go of selfish pride, and be a little humble, and work at things together for the greater good.

I think our sink gets plugged to keep us reminded of this!

A Mothers Nest

This year for my birthday, I told the boys (husband included), not to buy me a thing. I wanted them to have fun and make something for me. We spend Easter at Scott's parents home, and while I was away for the day, they made this awesome nest out of paper mache with their Dad. The eggs are my "Boys"...top left is Scott, top right is Luke, bottom right is Zach and bottom left is Tyler. Zach has brown spots all over because he recently had chicken pox, and Tyler is green because his jacket was green that day! How sweet. They hid the Nest in a large tree, and I had to find it. They were so excited to give something they spent so much time working on...and not one of them gave away the secret. I was so proud of them, and so touched to see their work. There is no better compliment they could have given me on my birthday then to say I make them a wonderful nest.

25 Things I Want My Son To Know

Read this on another blog and thought it was wonderful.
25 Things I want my son to know. Check it out on Mommy OM.

Running a Half Marathon

Seattle Rock N Roll Marathon Series
Scott and I signed up to run a half marathon on June 23rd in Seattle, Washington.
We feel with a goal to pursue, we are more likely to keep running, keep eating right, and stay in great shape to keep up with our three boys as they grow.
Scott has already run a half before, as well a two full marathons over the past three years. He is my coach and personal trainer in this endeavor.
I ran a 10km race last year, and thought I didn't need to run any further than that. I actually did not think I would want to run more than that. I was wrong.
I know that I need a goal to stay in shape. I need something to drive for, something as a reward to keep me motivated. Just knowing that I will be running with (and in front of) so many people will keep me motivated to keep up with the training.
It is kind of nice to do this together, and to be able to support each other in this goal.
What a romantic weekend we have to look forward to...pigging out Friday night at the all you can eat pasta place, waking up extra early on Saturday to get into our spots, running 13 miles, hugging each other at the end..(actually, Scott will be finished well before me...so he will be waiting there)...then trying to help each other back to the hotel room because we won't be able to walk and crashing for a nap before going to eat lunch. Hmmm...yes...romantic! HAHAHAHA!

To the frustrated wife: Nine ways to get your partner to do his fair share

I found this article on Baby Center.com while doing some research on chores, and thought I would share it...for those wives who are still doing all the chores by yourself...here are the tips they suggest to get your spouse to help out!

Talk to him.
While you may find it hard to believe that he can't see anything's amiss with the layer of dust covering your furniture or the mildew growing on the shower curtain, the truth is if your husband's not complaining, he's probably fine living that way. "The average guy feels like if it ain't broke, don't fix it," says psychologist Coleman, a self-described lazy husband in recovery. Take the time to let him know what you mean by a "clean" house.

Instead of quietly stewing with resentment or complaining to your girlfriends, tell your spouse you need more help keeping your place (relatively) clean. Be firm, but resist nagging. "Nagging isn't very assertive — it's humiliating to the person doing the nagging and annoying to the person being nagged," says Coleman. He suggests a friendly approach: Tell your husband that you've been feeling overwhelmed and that you really need and appreciate his help. Start by creating a short to-do list for him, suggests Coleman, and pick the tasks that have been bugging you the most. You might specify jobs such as cleaning up after dinner, making the bed on the weekends, and taking primary responsibility for the baby at least one weekend morning so you can sleep in.

Teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime.
This old adage can hold true for household chores too. "While some men feign incompetence, some genuinely have never learned how to do housework," notes sociologist Coltrane. Before your mate takes on a chore, demonstrate it for him, talking him through it as you go.

Don't be a control freak!
One of the reasons men don't help around the house as much as we'd like is that we can make them feel like they can't do anything right. So once you've shown him how to separate whites and colors, and to dust before running the vacuum, consider that his standards may never meet yours. Decide what you can live with: If the choice is to do every task yourself, or to live with his less-than-perfect housekeeping skills, you may more readily settle for adequate. A little restraint and a heaping of praise can go a long way in his wanting to be involved and useful.

Choose chores he'll want to do.
It's much easier to motivate someone to do something he likes, so if your mate's more inclined to cook than to clean up, ask him if he'll prepare more meals during the week. Of the "big five" household tasks — cooking preparation, meal cleanup, shopping, laundry, and housework — men are more likely to do the first three and least likely to do the last two, says sociologist Scott Coltrane. So strike some new deals with your spouse. If you've been doing all the shopping, cooking, and cleaning, let him troll the market aisles, cut up the vegetables, and toss the salad for dinner. He may even enjoy it. While it may seem unfair that he gets to choose jobs he wants to do, consider that it's better than the alternative — doing everything yourself!

Do a little at a time.
Splitting chores between you and your spouse over several days will keep weekends from turning into nonstop drudgery. "We used to jam all of the housework into Saturdays, but now my husband and I have designated weekdays for certain cleaning jobs," says Kate Richardson, mother of a 2-year-old. "By spreading chores out across the week, keeping a (fairly) clean house seems less overwhelming — plus we've freed up more weekend time for family fun," she says.

Appeal to his charitable side.
Show your husband that getting rid of the toys collecting cobwebs in your living room and the forgotten clothes in your closets is a great way to help a good cause and save your family money. Ask him to oversee a "giveaway box" to which he and the kids can contribute, and then put yourself on a calling list for a couple of charities and thrift stores. "They call every other month to see if we have anything to donate, and we gather up books we've finished, clothes and shoes the kids have outgrown, and toys they're bored with," says Ann Struckman, mother of three children, ages 13, 9, and 2. "The charity picks up the items and leaves a donation slip for tax write-off purposes."

Outsource!
If you can, make some cuts in your budget, and use the money to hire cleaning help. (Cost will vary depending on where you live and the size of your house, but the national average for someone to clean every week or every other week is around $75 to $110 per visit.) "We hired a housecleaning team after our daughter was born, and it's worth every penny, not just in time, but also arguments avoided," says Catherine Holecko, mother to a 3-year-old and a newborn. "Cleaning ranks way below family, work, and personal time in my order of priorities. Also, having cleaners come every two weeks forces us to do a round of picking up and de-cluttering on the day before they come."

And if he still doesn't pitch in...
"If you're still being ignored, it may be time to play hardball and say, 'I'm not going to keep doing all the things I'm doing,'" suggests psychologist Coleman. Take something off your plate that you know your mate relies on you to get done. For instance, if you usually pay the bills and your husband can't stand them to be late, tell him you're no longer paying the bills. Coleman points out that tough-love should be your last resort, but it can be surprisingly effective.

Take time to reconnect.
Finally, if you've been more irritated than usual by dishes collecting in the sink, consider whether it's merely the grimy plates that need attention. "In all my years of working with couples there seems to be this pattern: When men aren't paying attention to their wives, the housework issue becomes more of an issue," says marital therapist Michele Weiner-Davis, author of The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido. "It becomes less of an issue if men are making an effort to be closer emotionally." Weiner-Davis frequently sees a vicious cycle: When women aren't getting help, they become less physically affectionate with their spouses, who in turn withdraw more emotionally. "It would ease tension if couples took the time to reconnect on a regular basis," says Weiner-Davis.

So at least once a month, do the things you used to enjoy together before you had children (and a messy house). Send the kids to Grandma's overnight so you can have a romantic evening in. Or hire a babysitter and go out for a relaxing dinner. Besides remembering what made you a good couple, the next-best part is that neither of you has to clean up the dishes afterward.

From BabyCenter.com

10 reasons to eat as a family

Here is something I found at iTVnetwork, and have added some comments in italics.

It’s good for the body!

1. When families eat together, everyone tends to eat healthier. People who have frequent family meals consume more calcium, fiber, iron, and vitamins B6, B12, C and E. It could be because home-cooked meals are healthier than fast food and restaurant meals. (Source: Archives of Family Medicine)

2. Children tend to eat more fruits and vegetables when they frequently have dinner with their families. They also tend to eat fewer snack foods. (Source: American Dietetic Association). 

3. Children in families who eat dinner together are less likely to be overweight (Source: Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine). We, as the parents, are trying to eat healthy, and the kids eat what we eat at dinner time.

Good for the brain

4. Children from families who eat meals together get better grades than their peers who don’t have lots of family meal times (Source: Lou Harris-Reader’s Digest National Poll).

5. When families eat together frequently, children have better language skills compared to kids from families who don’t have family mealtimes often. (Source: Harvard University) We have conversations, and talk about our highs and lows from the day.

Good for emotional health

6. Children of families who eat together report feeling happier and are more optimistic about the future, than their peers who have infrequent family meals. (Source: Lou Harris- Reader’s Digest National Poll)

7. Teenagers are less likely to use drugs, smoke, and drink alcoholic drinks, when their families eat together regularly. (Source: Columbia University) Your children will know you care and might be less likely to give in to peer pressure.

8. It may come as a surprise, but among Moms who work outside the home, those who have family mealtimes reported feeling less stress than those who had family dinners less often. (Source: Family and Consumer Sciences Research Journal) 

9. The more often teen girls had meals with their families, the less likely they were to have symptoms of depression and suicidal behaviors. (Source: University of Minnesota) 

Good for family bonding

10. Eating together gives family members the chance to communicate and build relationships, something that both adults and children appreciate very much. (Source: Nutrition Education Network of Washington & Oprah Winfrey’s “Family Dinner Experiment”). 

We love to eat together every night. It is a priority in our home. Extracurricular activities can wait, until our 1/2 hour of family time around the kitchen table is finished. 

I grew up in a home with 8 children, all wanting to go in 8 different directions every night. My mom always had dinner ready at a certain time, and we knew we were expected to be there. I do not remember a time that we did not have dinner together as a family. It kept us close to them, as our parents, and to each other, as siblings. 

There are even cool games you can play, to make dinner more adventurous...or if you just want to keep the kids at the table longer...check this out! Family Dinner Games

Scott's heart!

"Be kind and always look for the good in each other"

This was advice given to us on our wedding day.

I often forget to tell him how much he means to me.
I love him more today than I ever did.
Here is a little something I put together to show him all the wonderful traits I love so much about him. I know he has immense potential to be whatever he wants, and I will always support him. 

Scott's heart

Effective Vs. Efficient... The definition

Effective (adj.): Adequate to accomplish a purpose; producing the intended or expected result.

Efficient (adj.) Performing or functioning in the best possible manner with the least waste of time and effort.

Efficiency refers to how well you do something, whereas Effectiveness refers to how useful it is.
Effective means that something works. Efficient means that something works well.
Effective is doing the right things. Efficient is doing the things right.
In summary, 

If you don’t do the right things, but do them very well, you still are not moving toward the result you want. If you do the right things, but execute them poorly, you will end up expending more energy and thought than necessary, leaving less energy for other tasks.

The great thing is, with one of us being effective and the other being efficient, we make an excellent team.