Saturday, December 1, 2012

Anger Session #3

Went in today with a good attitude. I only blew up once over the last two weeks, and it was just before dinner..I was hungry and tired..the boys were hungry and tired, and I was expecting them to sit still for prayer. I was told not to be so hard on myself, and to look at the positive. After I blew up (that means one loud shout..the kind you think about later and wonder what your neighbours think of you, because they obviously heard you), slammed my hands on the table, and chased Tyler around the table to get him to go upstairs for a time out, I was able to regain control after a moment of peace in my bedroom. I said a quick prayer that I could remain calm, so that I could deal with the boys with love. I talked to both boys, apologized for my behavior and asked them to come to the table for dinner. It was much better after I had time to cool down. I could see how I over-reacted, and was able to patch things up quickly.

Today we talked a lot on discipline techniques, and ways to teach the boys without all the nagging.
If the nagging is a minimum, and I am not talking all the time, things go more smoothly.

Here are a few bits that we talked about...

"I see that you are _______. What might we do about this now? "
"My way is not working. Can you think of a better way to do this?"
"What is going to happen if you continue to ____?"

Make sure to have them release energy each day...punching bag, parks, Wii Sports
Have them participate in chores, and make it fun.

Robert Kiwaski: Rich Dad, Poor Dad has a book for kids. There is a Cash Flow game for kids as well that shows chores, and money. Jane Seymour has a book on better living. Check it out.

Peg System...for chores (without asking). If they can go for the whole week, double allowance.

Do not remove the plate, if they forget to clear it from the table...just leave it there for next time they sit down.

Cook dinner with them. Have fun with them. Learn to relax and let go of the unimportant things.

Finish the book, and keep the ideas written where I can see them and use them. Especially for sibling rivalry.

Another good session, and I have so much to still learn and work on. This is not easy to change, but I will keep trying. I can see my improvement, and the way I handle the kids better during the tough times. I am able to walk in, take a look at the situation and in a responsible, calm voice speak to them. It feels so much better to know that they boys will see how to act appropriately when they deal with tough times too!


  1. Oh Jenny...I feel like I am having an out of body experience! I know EXACTLY what you are feeling and struggling with. For the most part, life is good. But day by day i am finding that I am not the mom I want to be...I have changed over time. I am so busy that I feel like I don't have time to ask twice for something to be done. And my kids should be old enough to do it without being asked ( that goes for my husband too).
    Thankyou for sharing these most inner struggles with us. I know you are doing the right thing. I will follow your progress and hopefully glean from what you are learning.

    1. I find that most of us moms deal with the same issues, and too many times don't like to admit we are wrong. If feels so motivating when you can finally say to yourself...this is not acceptable, and I am going to change. If you need more specifics, let me know...I was kind of vague in my description of some things.

    2. I would love that. I have one child that is just so different personality wise...I just don't deal well with her. I know that the way I react to her, makes her attitude worse. You can email me if you want to, it might be easier. or