Seven Habits of Happy Kids

This week we have been readying the Seven Habits of Happy Kids by Sean Covey. It is a picture book, with a bunch of characters that the kids can relate to, and in so doing they can apply the good habits in their lives. We can use the common words together now when there is a problem. If Tyler does not want to do homework, I might say, "We need to put first things first" and he will know I don't want him to procrastinate.
This book teaches them proper principles that are needed more than ever. Each chapter covers one habit, and at the end there is a parent/teacher page to help kids take small steps in developing this habit. At the end of the book is a diagram of how the habits work together.
I have read all the stories over and over, and it is the book they ask for at night. Each time, we ask them questions from the end of the chapter, and we talk about how we can work on it.
Great book.

Your Money or Your Life

Our newest book of interest. Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez. 
Scott and I are always looking for ways to be frugal and happy. This book makes you think about what you really value, and how much "life energy" you are spending on things that do not make you feel happy.
I am going to give brief notes on things that are of interest to us while we are reading this time....

The first thing that hit me was this from Chapter 1.
"What do we do when we are depressed, when we are lonely, when we feel unloved? More often than not we buy something to make us feel better. A new outfit. A drink (or two). A new car. An ice cream cone. A ticket to Hawaii. A bag or Oreos (or two).
When we want to celebrate good fortune, we buy something. A round of drinks. A catered wedding. A diamond ring. A bouquet of roses.
When we are bored, we buy something. A magazine. A cruise. A board game.
When we think there must be more to life, we buy something. A workshop. A self help book. A therapist. A house in the country.
None of this is wrong. It is just what we do. We have learned to seek external solutions to signals from the mind, heart and soul that something is out of balance. We try to satisfy essentially psychological and spiritual needs with consumption at a physical level. How did this happen?"

Kids are Worth It

Your children are not your children
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts...
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday
 - Kahlil Gibran

This is so true. Our children are gifts to us, and we need to treat them as such.

In the epilogue of Barbara Coloroso's book, Kids are Worth it, she writes a letter to parents...here are some bits and pieces...

Dear Parents,
After you have been caring, and consistent...firm and fair...you've said what you meant and meant what you said and did what you said you were going to do...you've eliminated sarcasm, ridicule, and embarrassment from your talk with your kids...and you have developed a backbone structure around mealtime, bedtime, chores, allowances, fighting - and you are totally exhausted, there is one more thing you can do. After your kids are asleep this evening, walk into their bedroom, look down at each one of them, and remind yourself that there is one thing you can I as parents cannot do, nor do we want to do if we really think about it, and that's control our children's will - that spirit that lets them be themselves apart from you and me. They are not ours to possess, control, manipulate, or even to make mind...we need to encourage members of this next generation to become all that they can become, not try to force them to become what we want them to become...If you want your kids to make wise choices, give them opportunity to make lots of choices, including some unwise ones...when they fall, don't be standing in front of them to rescue, or over them to punish, be behind them to support and guide them...

If you are a parent, you have to read this book. It changed my life, and the way I think about my children. It has helped to get rid of anger in our home (and in myself), and has given me motivation to raise resilient, responsible, compassionate kids.

You are speaking my language

I saw Scott reading a book last week. I looked at the front and thought it was a romantic novel. It was purple with a couple walking along a beach.

Jenny says, "What are you reading?"
Scott says, "The 5 Love Languages. You should read it too, and we can take the test together"
Jenny says, "I read that book back in University before we were married."
Scott says, "You may be surprised by the results"
Jenny says, "I bet I can guess your love language. Hee Hee"

So, we both read the book, and took the test last night online. There is one in the book, but we wanted to have an electronic copy of the results to refer back to.
My main language scored a 12, which is the highest score one language can receive. It must be really important to me. Scott actually tied between two languages (both of which were not the one I thought it was!), which makes it easier for me to love him. I can choose one of the two and know he will feel loved by me. The neat thing is we figured out that we can both speak the same language to each other, and it will be neat to see how things turn out.

It is worth the read, and the suggestions at the end of each chapter help you to know how to talk the language of the person you want to love.

Quote from Author: " I dream of a day when the potential of the married couple can be unleashed for the food of humankind, when husbands and wives can live life with full emotional love tanks and reach out to accomplish their potential as individuals and as couples. I dream of a day when children can grow up in homes filled with love and security, where children's developing energies can be channeled to learning and serving rather than seeking the love they did not receive at home. It is my desire that this brief volume will kindle the flame of love in your marriage and in the marriages of thousands of other couples like you."

You can take the test today and find out for yourself.

Forks Over Knives

This picture tells it all. 

At first, I thought it was going to be a book about eating only foods that you can with a fork, and not foods that you need to cut with a knife. My second thought was that I was going to read a vegetarian diet telling us not to kill animals for food. But when you take a closer look at the picture, you can see it is not a regular knife used for eating food, it is a scalpel.

Ahhhh, now I see...the fork is food, and the knife is medicine and surgery. 

The book focused a lot on the importance of a plant based diet, and reminded me very much of a documentary I watched with Scott called Food Inc. I really believe this message to be true, although they did not talk a lot about exercise, which is just as equally important as food to our bodies. We really should be eating plant based whole foods, and animal protein only sparingly.

I did feel guilty after reading this book. I feel badly about the sugar and fast food that my kids have consumed, because I know those are my decision as their parent. Well, enough guilt...it is time to move on and create healthier options all the time. I know that it is pure laziness on my part if we eat already prepared meals, or have to go out for fast food because I don't feel like cooking. Granted, there are days like this, but maybe the option can be to do something simple from home, where we know what is going in the food!

All in all, an eye opening read, and there were a ton of recipes at the back. I tried a few, and was inspired to really take a look at our weekly menu. The largest challenge is finding food ideas that the kids will love, and getting them to "just try it".

Raising Boys

Scott and I are lucky to have three beautiful boys. We want them to be happy, well rounded little men. We want them to be fit, smart, and polite. We want them to show good manners when they are in someone else's home..the list could go on and on.
Most parents want the same basic things for their children, and we all struggle to find ways to teach and discipline them.

Just before Christmas vacation, we read a book called: Raising Boys: Why boys are Different - And How to Help Them Become Happy and Well Balanced Men.

The book is broken up into three sections according to age. 0-6 years, 6-14 years and 14 - adult. Within each section there is valuable information on what is going on with boys during this time and what is most needed to help them grow properly. At the end of each chapter he sums things up, "in a nutshell". If you have limited time to read, you can skip to the section you need help with now and pick up the book again when they reach the next stage. In fact, since Scott and I both read the book at the same time...and this one was quite popular from the library...we only had two weeks to read it. After reading the introduction, I skipped right to the chapter on a Moms role, just in case I didn't have time to finish.

Some things that stuck with me: 

1. Boys sometimes are deaf.  When they have a growth spurt the tube connecting the ear to the back of the throat stretches and thins, and can block easily causing temporary deafness.  Once the tube grows to catch up again it unblocks and hearing is restored!

2. He suggests keeping boys out of child care until 3 years old.

3. Dads need to build a strong relationship with them, since they will be looking for a male role model. There is no room for a dead beat dad.

4. Boys need to be involved in regular sports/exercise to burn up testosterone and reduce frustration and aggression.

5. A 4 year old boy has the same testosterone levels as a teenage boy.

For those who are not raising boys...you are in luck...he has also written: Raising Girls

It's Not the Stork!

Scott and I decided it was time to talk to our boys about sex. 
Yes, to tell them the proper words, and where babies actually come from.Our boys are age 5 and 7, and we want them to hear truthful information from us first. Of course, we were not sure how to start, and exactly what to say now (and what can be said later on!).After much research, Scott found this book at the library, and it was perfect. His efficient way of doing research for everything has a way of irritating me...but in most instances, it pays off.


We read this book to our boys over the course of three nights. We wanted them to process what they heard, and ask questions. The book was very appropriate, and explained things in a simple, but straightforward way. 

DAY 1

We covered Chapters: Girls do this, Boys do that/Same?Different?/Toe to Head/Head to Toe/What Boys Have/What Girls Have/Girls Grow up, Boys Grow up. 

• These chapters basically covered the anatomy inside and out, and the similarities and differences between males and females. 

DAY 2

So many eggs! So many sperm/It's Not the stork/The BIG swim/The growing womb/Pinpoint to Watermelon

• These were heavy pages, and there were many more questions. We were honest with them, and stuck to the outline in the book, which put emphasis on things like... "a boys testicles Cannot make sperm until his body has become a man's body..that is why boys bodies cannot make a baby", so when we explained the process, by way of the friendly comic book type stories, they were glad because..."whew! I'm glad I'm too young!"

DAY 3

The Twisty Cord/All day, All night/It's a baby/Happy Birthday/Cuddles and Kisses/All kind of families/Okay touches, Not okay touches/ Girls, boys, friends/growing up. 

• Many of the things in these chapters they already knew because we had talked about it during the birth of their youngest brother (who is 1), but it was great to have chapters on touching and friends, which is helpful for them at this age.

We listed the book and link under READ WITH US here on our blog..if you are looking for a solution to talking to your kids about sex, it can be as easy as sitting down and reading with them. We chose the book for ages 4 and up, but the same author has a book for ages 7 and up, and for ages 10 and up!

Just because you talk to them once, do not think your job is done!

Puberty is just around the corner. 

GOOD LUCK Parents!

Oh yah..and by parents, I mean both of you. No ducking out, and leaving it all to one person. They need both of you.

Scott and I both sat down and took turns reading and talking with our kids. Sure, I looked at him and giggled when he had to read the part about "When grown ups want to make a baby....". 

And the boys just looked at him, and said, "Do you and mom..." You get the picture. HAHAHAHA!